EDGE

     I am a refugee , a long time ago I had sought escape 

     An escape from a reality ,which was to me both puzzling and unbearable 

     An escape from a life that didn’t make sense at all 

     So I ran away and sought refuge 

     Sought refuge deep inside my head. 

     And there I made myself a new Home

     It was a beautiful place -my new Home 

     Out there was the bleakness of reality and my new Home was all warmth and sunshine

     Out there was soul crushing loneliness and inside was liberating solitude 

     Out there were life sucking conundrums and inside was life giving clarity 

     Out there was confusion and chaos and inside life and creation 

     I loved my new Home. So I kept adding to it. 

     I made mansions. And erected towers. I dug up lakes and rivers and whole seas. 

     I made long hallways. And constructed elaborate mazes. 

     There were libraries . Conservatories and even an Opera House. 

     But from time to time , I had to step out of my new Home. And visit reality 

     And I couldn’t wait to go back home. The first few times I was very happy to be back 

     Then something started changing. Home felt less and less like home. 

     I started seeing signs of reality in my new Home. 

     A dark cloud here. A cold draft there. 

     I was bringing a piece of reality with me every time I stepped out. 

     No matter how rarely I visited reality , some of it would always seep into my new Home. 

     I started seeing shadows of other people. I was no longer alone. 

     I was locked out of my own towers and getting lost in my own hallways 

   Whole sections were missing from my libraries. Phantoms now haunted the mazes 

  Where there was sunshine , there is now fog and mist 

  Where there was liberating solitude , there is now haunting company 

  Where there was clarity there are now shadows 

  My new Home now is a Frankenstein’s monster. 

 The inside of my head has turned against me. I cant wait to leave. 

 But where do I go? I sought refuge here from an unbearable reality. 

 And now like all refugees , I am just another schizophrenic 

 I am on the border of my new Home and reality ,willing to live in neither. 

 I have a foot each in each one of them and a firm footing in neither. 

 So I teeter on the edge ,as I slowly turn insane.